In this episode we talk to Craig Bulmer about building rapport, authenticity and understanding people. We discuss the importance of empathising and really thinking about the other people we are interacting with.
1:24 - where the platypus was discovered.
4:22 - if you want to connect you have to think of the other person.
5:56 - being present to connect with people.
9:08 - being vulnerable is about being real without the facade.
11:18 - it takes courage to go first.
12:28 - why we're scared to show our true selves.
14:33 - why take the risk to be vulnerable?
15:51 - performing for approval makes you less likeable.
17:01 - finding the balance between technique and authenticity.
18:44 - why people are important.
19:15 - silo mentality.
19:49 - the right people in the right role.
21:01 - What is DiSC?
25:15 - building rapport.
27:24 - using DiSC and technology to understand people and build relationship.
29:26 - it's important to be aware of each other's style, especially under stress.
29:59 - under stress people resort to comfortable behaviours because of fear.
31:09 - rapport building techniques can be manipulative.
32:51 - it's not about technique, it's about trust.
33:02 - humour is a good technique to build rapport.
34:04 - how to build trust. Is trust given or earned?
36:33 - don't fight resistance, adapt to it.
37:14 - meeting people where they are at.
38:58 - intellectual vs emotional empathy.
40:28 - how stress changes behaviour and impacts empathy.
42:24 - making decisions based on what we want, not what they need.
43:19 - tension between our desires and others' needs.
45:15 - incredibly proud of achievements, but it nearly cost the relationship.
46:00 - re-investing in strained relationships.
48:20 - what we're praised for is often not what's important.
51:21 - selfishness does not make you happy.
52:01 - productive conflict.
52:42 - separating ego from conflicts.
55:02 - what makes us happy.
55:55 - be aware of your own triggers.
56:57 - emotional intelligence is counter-intuitive.
57:58 - excuses for bad behaviour.
59:54 - personal responsibility.
62:58 - expecting people to do things they are not capable of.
64:18 - being a good performer does not make them a good leader - but we promote them anyway.
65:25 - rewarding people for being the best at what they do.
67:37 - you need to understand your people and what drives them.
68:11 - understanding people helps you to better utilise their strengths.
71:46 - last words.
More detailed show notes can be found at https://candourpodcast.com/craig-bulmer